July 21, 2016

Today is a really hard day.

I had a meeting in downtown Oakland and needed to be very together. I did great. I felt a well of grief and burst into tears driving home. I changed routes so I wouldn’t drive past the crash site.

I am at my laptop getting things done but very emotional. I feel like I have lost any acceptance I’ve had to date of the fact that my boyfriend that I love and miss is dead and in a box on my mantle when he should be at work, texting me about this weekend’s plans. My heart hurts.

Nothing makes sense.

I’ve smoked and taken an Ativan. Guess this is just what today looks like.

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