July 21, 2016

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I don’t want to do this anymore!

I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

I don’t want to be on everyone’s mind all the time!

I don’t want to need dinners brought by!

I don’t want to need all these hugs!

I am grateful for all of it. It is helping tremendously. I just want to stop being me for one day. Just one fucking day.

I need a break from my grieving heart, and it just won’t let up.

People tell me I will get through it. THROUGH? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? It will change. It won’t be so raw. I will eventually stop grieving this hard. He will always be dead and I will always love him. Even if someday I somehow find love again, I will always love him.

There is no through.

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