July 28, 2016

You should ask for help.

keep-calm-and-ask-for-helpA dear, lifelong friend called me this evening. She said she’s sending me so much love, but she’s not worried about me. She said some amazing things. Her words made me cry, but my heart is filled with love.

“You know how to ask for help,” she said, “and there are so many people around you who will.”

So many of us have a hard time asking for help. I know I did. It shows weakness and vulnerability, and you know it’s just going to annoy people and they’ll talk about you behind your back.


In my current state of intense grieving over my life partner, there are a lot of people around who don’t know what to do but want to do something. When I let them in and ask for help, it missed them feel good. It helps me and it helps them.

The truth is people want to help other people all the time. You don’t have to have suffered a huge loss. That’s when you’ll be asked, “how can I help,” but that’s not the only time to ask for help. Asking for help brings people closer. It builds community. It creates a bond and a shared experience that, in this day of Facebook friends, is so precious.

Try it. Ask someone to help you. Maybe you have a gardener friend who can help you weed. Maybe you have a long day planned and can ask a friend to come over with food and help you eat it. Maybe there’s a special outfit you need, and your friend can help you find it.

What do you need help with? Helping others helps you. It feels good and it’s fun, right? You should ask for help.

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