August 5, 2016

When should I write about my grief?


I asked this of my close Facebook friends last night and woke up to a wide array of responses. Most of my writing since Rupert died has been at night. It has been a great outlet for those nighttime monsters, but then I’ve found it hard to sleep and quiet my thoughts. I need to sleep more right now than I need to have a weepy meltdown in my room in the middle of the night.

I’ve journaled and blogged most of my life. I have lived out loud since I got the hang of it in the early days of social media. I’ve written about really hard, emotional things. Nothing like the death of my beloved partner, however.

I don’t know how to do it. How do you do the thing so necessary to your survival that feels like it’s going to destroy you while you’re doing it?

I’m taking advice. I’m trying different things. This morning I wrote a nonsense stream of consciousness on an Artist’s Way site I used to use a lot, I’m going to keep an eye on my brain and my body and my biorhythms.

I need to write. I have to tell my grief. It needs to get out. And I need to find a way to let it out that won’t unglued me and keep me from sleep, making my healing process that much harder.

Well, lookie there, I just wrote about my grief and recovery at 10am!

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